Almost everyone is focused on empowering and encouraging women; uplifting and building them mentally, physically, emotionally and psychologically to face their problems.
But who is encouraging the man to face his huge problems too?
We come from a society where men are seen as strong; mentally, physically and emotionally so they cannot voice their problems because they will be termed as fickle.
When a man is in pain he is expected to endure but when a woman is in pain she is expected to voice out and let the world know of her predicament.
This culture of silence has led to the death of vibrant men who could not stand the pressures from their families, wives, children and the society. It is physiologically proven that, men can’t handle the pressures of life as compared to women. Men die emotionally everytime.
DO MEN CRY?
There are Akan adages that says “כbarima nsu” (a man doesn’t cry), כbarima nsuro owuo” (a man does not fear death), and “כbarima na כnom aduro a ƐyƐ nnwono” (it’s a real man who takes bitter medicine) . These adages encapsulate the social construction and expectations of men.
From childhood, we tell boys that “men don’t cry” no matter the circumstance.They learn to endure pain the hard way.
But, have you ever thought of the number of men who cry silently and secretly everyday? A man will hide his tears to maintain his dignity, value and respect.
A man cannot cry because he needs to remain strong for a woman he has vowed to protect.
Well, men cry less than women because of nature, nurture, societal stereotypes and expectations.
In my interractions with a few of them, they said;
“We go through pains more than women. we carry the tears and pains of the family because we are head. One thing about the head is that he does not want to show his flaws because it will weaken the family”.
“When a man cries, he loses respect in the society and he is criticised”; another said.
“Men have feelings too.But we are men so we will continually internalize our pain”
“Yes men do cry, but when the pain comes we endure it and pretend everything is fine”
Certainly ,men are harbouring pains because of the social construction of gender roles, responsibilities and expectations.
DO MEN GO BROKE?
Having to worry more about finances or trying to find a job can aggravate mental health issues for anyone. A man loses respect when he is idle so he has to do everything to get a job. Men are said to be responsible beings so their role is to provide at all cost.They go through every means to satisfy the family. But have we ever wondered how men survive in their quest to provide?
A hungry man is an angry man.
HIGHEST RECORD OF SUICIDE ARE MEN.
Suicide is becoming common and rampant. Men were the highest record of the recent suicide cases in Ghana.
Ghana records about 1,500 suicide cases annually, men are more likely to commit suicide.The Chief Executive of the Mental Health Authority, Dr Akwasi Osei,revealed.
A staggering statistics revealed that within a year more men committed suicide than women. 1, 129 men took their lives as against 427 women according to a report by Network for Anti-suicide and Crisis Prevention.
Globally, death by suicide occurred about 1.8 times more often among males than among females in 2008, and 1.7 times in 2015.
In the western world, males die by suicide three to four times more often than do females. In 2016, the global data available from the World Health Organization (WHO) estimated 793,000 suicide deaths worldwide. Most were men.
WHO’s data showed that nearly 40% of countries have more than 15% suicide deaths per 100,000 men and only 1.5% showed a rate that high for women.
Probably its time we change the conversation by encouraging men to share their problems and creating opportunities for them to disclose their emotions. We must move away from the stigma and social construction because men go through pains too. They are dying in their caves.
Woman must play a vital role in this conversation. Encourage and support a man today.
Be a great listener. You might not be able to provide a solution but at least you can be able to provide a listening ear.
We need create an atmosphere where young boys can open up and talk to their parents especially their mothers.In the home, mother’s talk with their girls more than their boys so from the onset boys are trained to be in their cage.
Our elders say,
“A man must hold his manhood to give direction to his urine”.
Men go through alot in their quest to direct and lead.
Be a man’s keeper.
Help reduce suicide among men.
Be nice to someone today.
Say No To Suicide